So... you’re thinking about trying anal sex? We love that for you!
Whether it’s something you've always been curious about or you're just now starting to explore, it's totally normal to have questions—and maybe even a few nerves. Good news: you're not alone, and we're here to make this journey as relaxed, informed, and pleasurable as possible.
Let’s bust some myths, calm those fears, and get into how to prep your body (and your mind) for a positive first experience with anal play.
First Things First: Anyone Can Enjoy Anal
Let’s clear this up right away: anal sex isn’t exclusive to any one gender or orientation. It’s simply another way to experience pleasure—and it’s for anyone who’s curious and consents. Everything we talk about here is gender-neutral, because pleasure doesn't have a one-size-fits-all approach.
Step 1: Get Educated (You're Already Doing Great)
If you're reading this, you're already on the right track! Learning before doing helps take the mystery (and anxiety) out of new experiences. Understanding how anal sex works, what it feels like, and how to do it safely makes everything more enjoyable.
Pro tip: Real-life advice from trusted sources (like this blog!) is way better than what you might see in porn, which often skips over key things like communication, prep, and lube.
Step 2: Talk It Out with Your Partner
Before getting busy, get talking. Communication is key when it comes to trying anything new in the bedroom—especially something as intimate as anal.
- Share your curiosity and boundaries
- Talk about comfort levels and go-to stop words
- Discuss positions, speed, and how you’ll check in with each other
The more open the convo, the better the experience.
Step 3: Stock Up on (Anal-Safe) Lube
This one’s non-negotiable: Lube is essential for anal play. The anus doesn't self-lubricate, so adding a generous amount of high-quality anal-safe lube helps reduce friction and makes the experience more comfortable and pleasurable.
- Skip flavored lubes—they can cause irritation
- Look for lubes specifically labeled for anal play
Step 4: Don’t Skip Protection
Condoms and barriers aren’t just for preventing pregnancy—they’re also crucial for protecting against STIs. Whether you’re using toys, fingers, or a partner’s body, using protection keeps things cleaner and safer for everyone involved.
Step 5: Clean Up, Front and Back
Feeling clean can make the whole experience more relaxed. A gentle wash with warm water and mild soap can do the trick, though some people prefer to use a douche or enema before anal play. Afterward, a quick cleanup helps you feel fresh and taken care of.
Step 6: Start Small (Literally)
You don’t have to go full-throttle on your first try—and you shouldn’t. Begin with a finger or a small anal toy to ease your muscles into it. This helps your body relax and builds up your comfort and confidence.
Bonus tip: Use gloves, finger cots, or a condom for fingers to keep things hygienic.
Step 7: Use Toys Made for Anal (Not Just Any Toy!)
Anal toys are specially designed to be safe and beginner-friendly. Look for ones with a flared base—this keeps them from going in too far. Tapered designs also let you ease in gently and gradually.
Remember, there’s zero rush. Take your time finding what feels good.
Step 8: It Shouldn’t Hurt
Some initial discomfort is normal, but pain is a red flag. If something doesn’t feel right—stop. Breathe. Talk. Add more lube. Go slower. Your body will tell you what it’s ready for, so listen to it with compassion and patience.
Ready to Explore? We’ve Got You.
Whether you're prepping for your first time or looking to spice things up, Boudoir Noir has all the essentials: anal-safe lubes, beginner-friendly toys, and everything you need to explore your pleasure with confidence.
Visit one of our three Indiana locations or shop online anytime at BoudoirNoir.com. We’ve got your back(side).