Do you fantasize about being a sex slave to a sexy lingerie or leather-clad beauty? If so, you’re definitely not alone. It’s a common fantasy, and there many experienced, highly trained dominatrices out there that can help to bring your dream to life.
But, what should you expect for your first session? We’ll break it down for you.
You’ll be expected to talk about what you’re looking to get out of the session.
While the mistress you hire is going to be the one in control, it’s expected that you will communicate with her prior to the session about your wants, needs, and limitations.
If you know what you want, be upfront about it to ensure that you choose a mistress who can give you just that. As a paying customer, you want to ensure that you are getting everything you want out of the session.
It’s okay for newbies to say they aren't sure, but it's important to then keep an open mind so that the mistress can help introduce a newbie to a number of different things.
Some doms will talk to you during your first session to help get a feel for how you're taking it, but others prefer to stay more in character. If you’re concerned about that, be sure to bring it up pre-session.
You’ll have a conversation (or an ongoing conversation) about consent.
Consent is the most important part of a safe and enjoyable BDSM experience. The more open and honest you can be about what you consent to, the better.
When you arrive, you’ll be given a safe word to use to stop all play in the event that you dislike something or need to revoke consent. Use it when you need it, but being honest prior to beginning your session allows things to move along smoothly and allows your mistress to plan a session that falls within your boundaries.
You’ll both be in character.
When you arrive, it’s likely that your mistress will meet you in street clothes to have a conversation and then you’ll each go your separate ways to freshen up. When you meet her in her dungeon after that, you’ll both be in character.
It’s important to remember that when you hire a dominatrix you are also agreeing to be the submissive, so it’s your responsibility to own that character.
You will need to have an open mind.
This is a given, but you need to have an open mind throughout your session! You’ll be trying new things and experimenting, so an open mind is key to having the best possible experience.
It’s important to speak up about any hard boundaries or physical limitations, but don’t limit yourself too much without giving new things a proper try.
You might need to debrief the session afterwards.
While it might not be expected, be prepared that you might need to debrief the session afterwards, and talk to your dom pre-session about this possibility — especially if you aren’t comfortable speaking with your friends about your experience.
As humans, new experiences often need to be talked about in order for us to properly process them. Additionally, dom/sub play can conjure up emotions that you might not expect. Don’t be ashamed of how you may feel after your first session with a dominatrix — whether it’s positive or potentially negative. Having an open, honest conversation with your dom is key to a great experience, including once the session is over.
Do you want to get some experience with BDSM and fetish products before your first session with a dominatrix? Check out Boudoir Noir’s collection of BDSM and fetish products, available online and in our Fort Wayne and Evansville locations.