“You’re into WHAT?”
That’s something you’ll never hear when you walk into the door of Boudoir Noir. We understand your likes and dislikes, and would never judge or stigmatize you for what turns you on.
But, overwhelmingly, there's a shadow of judgement that often surrounds the conversation on fetishes. This is something that we are working to change, and we believe that education is the key to that mission’s success. With that being said, hop on in and let’s talk about all things fetishes!
First off, what is a fetish? A fetish is a sexual desire that involves a person getting sexual gratification from something that is not considered sexual in daily life. For example, a heterosexual man liking pictures of a naked woman is not a fetish. But if he was especially aroused by pictures of women who are wearing only stockings, then he would have a stocking fetish.
Anyone of any sexual orientation can be interested in almost any fetish. Not everyone shares the same fetishes — and some people don’t have fetishes and prefer traditional, “vanilla” sex — but they are common.
With that being said, there are a few fetishes that are most common. We’ll start there.
BDSM
BDSM is an acronym for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. It’s the fetish brought into the limelight by the novel and film series 50 Shades of Grey.
As the name suggests, there are four distinct parts of BDSM play. All or just one can be present in a BDSM session, but you’ll likely find that several of these pieces fit together well. For example, bondage commonly involves at least some dominance/submission play intertwined, but bondage or dominance/submission don’t inherently lead to sadism or masochism — although they can.
Other common fetishes that often overlap with BDSM but can also be on their own include humiliation, impact play (think spanking), and electrostimulation.
BDSM is most commonly associated with toys and other equipment, like paddles, ropes, cuffs and other tools to restrain or stimulate a person. Boudoir Noir stocks a wide variety of fetish gear that are safe and easy for beginners.
Clothing Fetishes
Another common fetish is a clothing fetish. Like in the example we gave earlier, it generally involves a specific piece of clothing — and sometimes the characteristics of the clothing matter greatly.
Common clothing-related fetishes include panties and lingerie, stockings, suits, and shoes. Sports gear is becoming a growing trend for clothing fetishists.
Some clothing fetishes focus more on the material. For example, people with latex fetishes may enjoy seeing or touching someone dressed head-to-toe in tight latex clothing. Other material fetishes include spandex, leather, silk, and lace.
Body Part Fetishes
It’s also common for people to get sexually aroused by specific body parts, especially body parts not normally sexualized like genitalia or breasts. There’s actually a name for this type of fetish: partialism. The most well-known fetish in this category is a foot fetish. People with a foot fetish may want to incorporate foot play into the bedroom, or they may just want to look at photos and watch videos online of feet.
Other common body parts include armpits, ears, navels, hands and hair.
Role Playing
Role playing, though many consider it to be a sexual act, is actually a form of fetish. When role playing, you act out a sexual fantasy with your partner, typically each taking on different character’s looks and personalities. This can become a fetish for many people, especially if they prefer a specific type of roleplay scene, like teacher/student or perhaps French maid.
There are countless roleplay scenarios, though. Some can verge on the edge of taboo or even go right into taboo-land. There’s nothing wrong with more taboo fetishes, as long as all people involved are consenting adults.
Group Sex
Yes, group sex — or sex with multiple people — is a fetish.
A segment of a group sex fetish is cuckolding, when the female in a heterosexual relationship has sex with another man with her partner’s permission. He may be aroused at hearing about her encounter, or he may even want to watch.
Other forms of group sex include swinging (also known as couple swapping or wife swapping) and orgies. Some group sex fetishes may also include elements of voyerism (watching people engage in sexual activity) or exhibitionism (performing sexual acts in front of an audience of at least one person).
The world of fetishes are almost endless. If you’re interested in exploring fetish play and want to include toys, Boudoir Noir is ready to help! Shop our collection of fetish 101 toys online or stop in to our Fort Wayne or Evansville locations.