By: Ethereal Creation
We were reaching the end of the session he had paid for. I had put him through the paces thoroughly. After being bound, blindfolded, and beaten for the last 45 minutes he was near the point of exhaustion. As I slowly unbound him and removed the blindfold he asked if he could cum. Let me be clear, dear reader, I am not and never have been a prostitute. No acts that could be considered sexual by an untrained eye have ever occurred in my professional experience. None. I responded with absolutely not. He attempted to argue. I cannot tell you how pointless it is to argue with a Dominant… especially one that has just been engaged in heavy pain play. His response that “he paid me” told me all I needed to know. What he paid me for was an experience with me. He paid to know what it is to submit your will to another, be taken to the edge, and not to be dropped over that edge carelessly. I told him that he would sit, drink the water and eat the chocolate I had handed him, and allow his heart rate to return to normal. He was not happy but seemed to understand that I was not going to budge. I tell you this story because it’s one that seems to happen a lot within the BDSM community. People want to experience the idea of what they think this is without understanding what it is they are asking for. In this case, a submissive contacted me for a session. I explained what I offered, in detail, and we reached an understanding before the session. There was another discussion just before the session to insure understanding. And this still is how it unfolded. This is why I started teaching classes in all things BDSM. Education and exposure are how things become understood.
Now, let me tell you more about who I am. I am a cis female, straight, monogamist, dominant, sadist. My earliest relationships were dominant/submissive based even though I had no idea what any of that was at the time. I have always enjoyed inflicting pain on my partner. The means of infliction has varied over the years and depending on the partner. I was a Dominatrix for a time. I was strictly a deliverer of pain for pay. That was an interesting 10ish years that I will delve into on a deeper level later in this series of blogs.
I’ve had many variations of relationships. I’ve experimented with submission. I can see the appeal, but I am a control freak, and I was never comfortable giving over full control to another person. The trust portion of that is more than I can muster. I am always comfortable if I’m leading, although there is something to be said for being pursued.
I’ve always been the things I am. I was not aware that I was anything different until well into my 20s. Keep in mind, there was no internet when I was growing up, so I just thought everyone was like me. How would I know any different? It was not until I was dating someone in my late 20s and his sister and I were talking that I Iearned about this world. It was then that I also learned that I was not like most females. Dominant females are not common. That was my first introduction and where my learning and understanding began.
Throughout the past 30ish years, I have learned, watched, experienced, listened, traveled, explained, and taught. Once I knew this community existed I started exploring. Slowly at times and with more gusto at others. I’ve been to several big cities and visited their clubs/dungeons. I have been extremely active in my local/regional community at times and less so more recently. Covid began my hesitation to visit large groups and I have not really gotten back to where I was pre-virus. I also have a wonderful (soon to be) husband who is not really kink savvy and isn’t really interested and that’s ok. Our life is filled with so many places where my dominant side is on display and he absolutely loves me for it rather than in spite of it. We work and that’s all that matters. He’s not submissive. He’s strong in areas where I am not and I balance him in other areas. But I digress… you want to know about the kink world and what it’s all about. It’s about what you want it to be about for you. It’s entirely personal. What you seek will be what you want and that’s as it should be. Part of my goal is going to be to help you figure out what you think you want and how that fits in the BDSM community.
These blogs, going forward, are going to cover everything I can think of to demystify this community that is just a bunch of people looking for fulfillment in their own unique ways. Which is really what we all want in the end anyway.
I hope you will stick around as I delve deeper on this subject and offer insight in the blogs ahead.