If open relationships make you curious and intrigued, you’re in good company. They can be a lot of fun and are an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your partner.
One-fourth of Americans are interested in having an open relationship, which means being in a non-monogamous relationship. In an open relationship, you and your partner agree that you can be intimate with other people.
There’s no one right way to have an open relationship, but there are ways you can approach yours to make it as successful as possible since, like any relationship, they can get a bit tricky at times. Here are some dos and don’ts to make your open relationship work for everyone involved.
Do set boundaries
Setting boundaries is crucial in an open relationship so you both can feel safe, secure, and comfortable. Be as detailed as possible with what kind of sexual boundaries you want there to be. Know exactly what you’re ok with within your relationship, then stick to those boundaries unless you’ve discussed again and agreed upon changes.
Emotional boundaries should also be part of the conversation — are you ok with sexual intimacy with orders but not them forming deep emotional connections with another? Are you ok with your partner having sex with people you know, going on dates, and repeatedly seeing the same person? How many partners are you ok with being involved? How much time would you like to be dedicated to just one another? Be upfront about your sexual and emotional needs. Get it all out there so there aren’t surprises.
Don’t include just anyone
Who you’re comfortable with one another seeing should be part of your conversation about boundaries. Don’t involve people in your open relationship who you aren’t both comfortable with — this could mean excluding friends or past partners. It’s also important that you each only include people in your open relationship who respect the boundaries you and your partner have set.
Do communicate openly and honestly
In any relationship, honesty is the not-so-secret ingredient to success. Keep one another in the loop about the other people you’re seeing and regularly check in on the health of your relationship with your partner. If you feel something needs to change, let that be known respectfully.
Maybe the boundaries you set at the start aren’t working — you may want to make them stricter or you could realize you’re ok with them being looser. Set aside time for regular check-ins to see how you and your partner feel.
Don’t undermine your partner's feelings
If your partner comes to you with hurt feelings or realizes they aren’t comfortable with the original boundaries you set together, respect their feelings. Don’t accuse them of not trusting you or giving up. Hear them out to understand where they’re coming from. Be considerate of how your actions impact them, and ensure they do the same for you.
Do prioritize having safe sex
Keeping tabs on sexual health is very important in an open relationship. The best way to keep everyone safe during sex is always to use protection. If you and your partner are ok with not using protection when you’re having sex together, understand the risks involved with that within the context of your open relationship.
Don’t downplay jealousy
Jealousy, naturally, can occur in relationships. What’s important is that you and your partner are respectful of one another's feelings. Jealousy doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed to fail, so it shouldn’t be treated as such. Talk through what’s causing the jealousy and figure out if adjusting your boundaries within the relationship could be helpful.
Do keep it fun
Trying new things with your partner is a great way to keep your relationship lively and fun. One way to keep your relationship with your partner lively and fun is to try out a new sex toy or have a sexy game night. Explore what we have to offer by stopping in one of our stores in Fort Wayne or Evansville or shopping our online store.