Nothing is sexier than confidence.
Having sexual confidence can look like being comfortable with your sexual desires, knowing you’re deserving of pleasure, and being able to communicate what you want with your partner.
Here are some ways to get there.
Get sexually educated
It’s hard to be confident when you aren’t familiar with your body, how it works, and how sex works. Sex education is important so you can better understand sex. When you have this knowledge, you’ll understand how to make sex more pleasurable for both you and your partner. Go ahead, crack open a book or start Googling — it’s a great way to feel empowered.
Learn what you like
Confidence comes from learning and knowing yourself. What turns you on? What would be your ideal sexual experience? What do you want to try, but have held yourself back from? Consider your past sexual experiences and what you do to get yourself in the mood. When you know what to do and what to ask for, it will naturally make you more assured.
Practice communicating what you want
Practice makes perfect. Learn how to communicate what you want with your sexual partners. Figure out how to be direct about what you want. If the thought of saying what you want in the heat of the moment makes you nervous, remember that you can also communicate without words. Try placing your partner’s hands just where you like to be touched. As Paris Hilton would say, that’s hot!
Talk to a therapist
No matter where you are on your sexual confidence journey, talking things out with someone else can help add some perspective. Sex therapists are specially trained in human sexuality and know how to help people overcome matters related to sex and sexuality. Sharing your feelings with a trained therapist is a wonderful way to get things off your chest and learn more about how to grow your confidence.
Practice self-love
You give a lot of attention and praise to people in your life that you love, but do you do the same for yourself? You’re likely your own biggest critic. Practicing self-love can help you grow into a more confident version of yourself. Practicing self-love can take many forms. Try to talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend, take time to do the things you love, and write down or speak positive affirmations. Pleasuring yourself can also be an act of self-love and appreciation.
Recognize what’s influenced you
Media and culture shape and influence us all. If songs, movies and porn are forming your view of sex and what you should be like in the bedroom, take a step back. Keep a realistic perspective. The truth is that sex can be awkward — not straight out of an expertly curated movie scene. Give yourself grace and acknowledge how you formed your beliefs and opinions about yourself so you can move forward.
Develop habits that get you in the mood
This goes hand in hand with learning about yourself. Find out what gets you in the mood and makes you feel sexy and confident. Implement this ritual into your life. This could look like creating a relaxed ambiance, wearing lingerie that makes you feel seductive, taking a moment of meditation before sex, reading erotica, or pleasuring yourself. Find what works for you.
Above all, be patient with yourself. Gaining sexual confidence happens gradually and is a lifelong journey. And at Boudoir Noir, we’re here to help you.
We’re passionate about helping people grow their sexual confidence and love helping people find ways to enhance their sex lives! Shop for new lingerie, toys, and everything in between on our online store or visit one of our locations in Fort Wayne or Evansville.