Here's a great article to help you learn more about BDSM & Bondage from Casey Gueren at BuzzFeed.
25 Facts About BDSM That You Won’t Learn In “Fifty Shades Of Grey”
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey. Here’s your real primer on all things kink.
posted on Feb. 12, 2015, at 3:51 p.m.
Casey Gueren BuzzFeed Staff
Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed
1. First things first: Here’s what BDSM actually stands for:
BDSM includes bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism & masochism (S&M). The terms are lumped together that way because BDSM can be a lot of different things to different people with different preferences, BDSM writer and educator Clarisse Thorn, author of The S&M Feminist, tells BuzzFeed Life. Most of the time, a person’s interests fall into one or two of those categories, rather than all of them.
2. It doesn’t always involve sex, but it can.
3. There is nothing inherently wrong or damaged with people if they’re into it.
4. Know that you can always say no.
5. BDSMers are just as stable as people who prefer vanilla sex.
6. Fifty Shades of Grey is considered very cringeworthy in the BDSM community.
7. It’s not all whips and chains all the time — or ever, if that’s not your thing.
8. BDSM encounters are called “scenes.”
9. There are dominants, submissives, tops, and bottoms.
10. It can be as simple or as technical as you want.
11. Before you go past the VERY basics, do your research.
12. Seriously, BDSM involves A LOT of reading and learning.
13. It’s important to get your information from a variety of sources.
14. Safe words are definitely a thing.
15. And at some public events, there are even safety monitors on duty.
16. It’s not as spontaneous as Hollywood movies or porn make it out to be.
17. There’s also probably way more talking involved than there is with (most) vanilla sex.
18. There’s actually a pre-negotiation period, where the partners discuss what they like, what they don’t like, and what they absolutely will not tolerate.
19. And then comes aftercare, the debriefing period that happens once the scene ends.
20. BDSMers can be monogamous, polyamorous, or whatever the hell they want.
21. There are so many different types of whips.
22. And there are some places that you definitely don’t want to whip.
23. If you want to bring it up in your current relationship, absolutely do it.
24. There is an immensely helpful list of kink-aware professionals so you can find a doctor or therapist who uniquely understands your lifestyle.
25. Basically, it’s way different than most people expect.